I ride my bicycle slowly in the dark up to the sidewalk, preparing to dismount.
Old man: Your lights! Where are your lights??
Me: Up my butt
Old man: *grumbles*
I ride my bicycle up the street. It makes a squeaking noise every time I peddle.
Lady: *mocks bicycle's squeaking sounds*
Me: Why don't you mind your own goddamn business?
Lady: Sorry, I didn't mean to...